its nothing personal

In about a couple of hours time, I’ll be leaving for school.

I’m having mixed reactions recently, a confused mind and a very grouchy behaviour. I wouldn’t want to put all the blame on the coming examinations. Pardon me for the sarcastic language used on you. I didn’t mean it. Really.

Sometimes I don’t really know what I’m thinking. Words can hit me really hard at times and it just did. I look back and really wonder what the fuck I was thinking and how my life ended up this screwed up. Yes I did get what I wanted initially but only to realise happiness isn’t what I’ve gotten. Only satisfaction. Self-satisfaction.

I ended up chasing away the people whom I care about, love me and would do anything for me. I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed any of you with my pathetic, self-obsessive behavior. For the first time ever, I actually look down on myself. I pity myself for being this pathetic.

YOU. You’re leaving me too right?

If I were to fall on my knees now and begged you not to, would you? If I screamed at the top of my voice that I love you, would you turn back and give me a second look? Or would you just shake your head in disappointment and walk away?

I really deserve what I’ve gotten. I’m sorry for being a failure in life. There are no second chances in life.

I apologise.

I’ve decided to go into partial-seclusion now, which means limiting my time on the internet. Reach me on my mobile only. Until I feel I have a motive to be back, I’m going to leave this space alone. I’m not hiding from anyone, I just want to spend more time sorting out my thoughts.

-eneres

Until I’ve found myself, my name will be spelt like that .

I got my head checked at 7:01 AM .